I didn't miss it as much as I feared I would

I've moved house quite a few times though probably not as many as my friend, A, who's moved thirty times in about thirty-five years.  She's now happily settled in her own house somewhere outside London. What a relief.

My last move was from a large, four bedroom house to a studio apartment. You can imagine what a lot of stuff I had to say goodbye to.  I had to be ruthless in downsizing but not in the act of giving away a lot of my stuff to people and places that would find good use for it.

The latter I was happy to do although I would be lying if I said there weren't other feelings involved, feelings of sadness, nostalgia, a sense of loss for that last phase of my life and the uncertainty of how things would turn out.

How would I manage without my large fridge or my desktop or the garden hose or my piano or those beautiful new Moroccan style glasses I'd bought and so much more.

  

It's funny how at times like this, the most mundane and inexpensive things line up alongside the more elaborate and costly items in my mind.  It feels as if it's not just the things themselves that I'm letting go of but also some part of myself. 

Anyhow, not only did I manage without my many possessions of the past, I pretty much forgot about all of them very quickly.  I don't miss them and I've learned to do very well without them.  Occasionally, a little memory of them comes along, usually in the form of some event that it involved, like that big party I threw for some friends on their wedding anniversary.

The piano got a lot of use then as I'd asked each guest to perform something for the couple but mainly for our entertainment of course.  Every one of them rose to the occasion and prepared something original and often, hilarious.

Not all of them played the piano or requested its accompaniment which meant that other instruments and devices were used.  I think of all the wonderful performances, the mime was a big hit especially because it was performed to some rather raunchy music by a rather, shall we say, well-endowed female.

I'm not sure where I was going with all this.  I think it was to weave in the subject of my recent loss of this blog, and as you can see, its return.  Hurrah!

I did wonder how I'd cope without it, whether I'd feel like I'd lost some part of me?

I remember reading somewhere that when we lose someone, whether from death or the end of a relationship, it's not the person that we really miss but that part of us which was most closely associated with that person.

I kinda think there's truth in that.