Saturday, January 29, 2011

A response to Joe Vitale's question: Should I be charging for my work, or should I do everything for free?

You've probable heard of Joe Vitale.  He's the guru of hypnotic marketing who started out homeless and broke but who is now one of those rock stars in the Law of Attraction scenario.

Joe  recently invited people to watch his video about his Abundance Paradigm program and on that website where it's showing, he's asked people a really wonderful question:  Should he charge people for his products?

I think it's really very brave of Joe to ask this question and I truly appreciate being given the opportunity to respond and share my thoughts with Joe and others.  I would also like to share them with you and invite you to share your thoughts with me.  Thanks in advance.

If you want to go to the site with Joe's video, it's here:

I want to say that Joe has offered me and many, many others many of his techniques, insights on the Law of Attraction and its application as well as samples of his marketing materials for FREE and  I am truly grateful to Joe for his generosity.  

So, here's my response to Joe's question:  Should I be charging for my work, or should I do everything for free?

Hi Joe, firstly I want to say how much I appreciate the fact that you're asking us this question. I think it's really brave of you especially since our comments/answers can be viewed by everyone!

To be honest, I feel that charging for anything goes against the essence of who and what we are since we all are aspects of the same, one, all-encompassing source. It's like the heart charging the lungs for pumping blood to it. Or the lungs charging the muscles for providing oxygen and removing carbon dioxide or the blood charging the cells for carrying stuff to and from them. It would be quite absurd.

I suppose you could argue that there always is a 'fee' in these 'transactions' insofar as each cell, tissue, organ has to perform their unique function so that the others can benefit from it. But would you call that a fee or a charge?

Or would you agree that for the whole body to work well, each part has to perform their unique function, wherever possible and when not possible (eg as a result of diseases), other parts will naturally and unquestioningly compensate to the best of their ability?

Money, as I understand it, is a symbol and disconnected body of energy that has become a convenient (at least to some) means of maintaining flow - the flow of functions and their benefits (to keep with the body metaphor). I say it's disconnected because it is removed from the actual performance of the function that it now represents - all those things/talents/services that we individually and uniquely create or perform.

Not all of us are called by our souls to perform on the big screen of life along with those who have made it there - the multibillionnaires, celebrities, super-entrepreneurs, artists, musicians etc – but these are the ones that society rewards with the most money.

All of us, I believe, are called to be OUR greatest, OUR freest, OUR most creative, which is not necessarily society’s greatest, freest or most creative. And all of us want to enjoy life and many of us want to experience and explore more of OUR lives. Should we have to ‘pay’ for this?

I don’t believe we should. I can’t help thinking that many people still believe that there is no such thing as a free lunch. And as long as there are such people, we will continue to live in a system which allows some to have and others not and for those who have to charge a fee to those who haven’t.

And yet, our lives are given to us freely and all the abundance in the universe (in terms of potentials) is given to us freely. We have devised ways of charging the different parts of our BODY (the collective human race) for the functions that we are naturally and uniquely called to perform.

So, should you charge? My long answer is as above which effectively boils down to ‘No’. My short answer is: Do what gives you greatest joy if joy is indeed what you value most :)

Thanks again for giving so much for free and hopefully, for doing so freely :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Do you need discipline?

There are some words I find myself feeling disagreeable toward. One of them is discipline. (Another is laziness. PS Have you checked out my most recent blogs - The 4am Orgasm and Picture a Poem ?)

I suppose you won't find it hard to understand why I find 'discipline' a somewhat disagreeable word.  It's a package of bitter meanings such as hard work, punishment and all round, unpleasantness.  I don't believe the purpose of my life is to suffer any of these.

But the word and the meanings which inhabit it are used widely and deliberately and almost religiously because, somehow, there is somthing virtuous about discipline.

Personally, I don't feel I need or want discipline.  But I do want to be productive and efficient.  I do want to use my life well so that I am living it with more ease, more joy, more creativity. 

Now some people might claim that I can only achieve that with discipline or greater discipline.  I'd like to think, and have noticed, that doing things I truly enjoy as often as I can does the trick rather nicely for me. 

It so happens that I can see purpose in doing almost all the things I enjoy.  Actually, I don't think there is anything that I enjoy that I don't find purposeful, even if the purpose is only my enjoyment!

And I find that I tend to do these things with a high degree of consistency.  The fact that I enjoy doing them and/or enjoy the effects of doing them (like the cleanliness and tidiness of my unit when I clean and tidy it) is the reason why I am able to maintain such consistency.

How about you?  Are you motivated by the call of discipline? Or the fear of lacking it??? 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dare I ever trust her again?

My dearest A

How reassuring and consoling to receive your email and sms.  As you’ve heard,

I’m well having suffered the minor inconvenience of being without power for
Just over 24 hours.  Too embarrassing to mention, really, and only done in order to explain why I’ve been un-contactable. 

I’d often thought that in a crisis, the first things I would sorely miss would be my ability to stay in contact with people via mobile phone and the internet and the loss of power confirmed that.  

Unable to recharge my mobile phone and laptop batteries, I was briefly without my primary means of non face-to-face communication, which on most days is my only form of communication with people locally and overseas.

I really have no words for what has been happening here, but of course, like most others in Brisbane, I feel a need to tell our stories. 

It truly is a shocking sight, these houses, vehicles and entire suburbs submerged in watery mud.  It was shocking to see and hear this raging brown serpent rip through our city. 

Wasn't this the sane river that had flowed peacefully through our city for as long as I've been here, providing us with a quiet, soothing backdrop for our weekend picnics and daily business activities? 

I'd always seen her as a gentle creature, lovingly keeping us company.  I'd never seen her as anything but a friend and even as I watched her yesterday morning and again at night, I was finding it hard to see her as a threat – an uncontrollable beast let loose.

But that is how she has behaved these last few days, crushing us with her power.  Without warning. 

Which makes me think that something must have happened to cause her to turn against us.  Or is she just doing what she’s expected to do when conditions force her hand?  I’m sure it must be that.  I’m sure she really means us no harm for if she did, why would she have waited so many years to do it?

I’m sorry.  Perhaps you don’t wish to hear this particular story but it’s the one that I feel the greatest need to tell right now.  I’ve been telling the other stories about submerged houses and suburbs, floating debris and cars, hurled boats and helpless animals. 

And yes, stories of people in various states of shock, survival and recovery.  Actually, I’m not at all sure about the recovery. 


What will we be recovering from?  Shock?  Loss?  Disbelief?  Anger?  Helplessness?  Fear?  Fatigue?  Punishment?  Upheaval?  Disbelief? 

Disbelief keeps coming to mind.  Has this really happened?  Have our lives changed forever? Has mine?  Will I ever feel safe again?  Will I ever allow myself to feel safe again?  Has feeling safe put me in danger? 

Will I ever trust you again my friend, my Brisbane River? 

I wince at the fact that this thought even occurs to me.  But now that I’ve seen you do it, I know that you can and I fear that you might again.  And it scares me.  And it hurts me to know that I fear you now and trust you less.  

I’m sorry, dear A, I seem to have got carried away in my own story.  But I want to pick up something that you’d said – that Mum had dressed me in white and blue for the first three years of my life as her way of consecrating me to Mother Mary.  An act that you believe has kept ne safe all my life and in this recent catastrophe.  

I first heard about Mum’s consecration of me to Our Lady two years ago when I was with you all at Christmas.  Then, it was D who recounted this part of my history to us.  Well, it was recounted to you all but I was hearing it for the very first time then.  And it made me think then as it does now, how very strange it is that other people can know parts of your story that you yourself do not know.

I’m not sure why I find this particularly poignant right now.  Is it because it makes me realize that we are never the sole keepers of our stories?  That there are things about me that I don’t know but that others do?  That feels so very odd, almost bizarre. 

And in a rather weird way, I wonder if I now know something about my friend, Brisbane River, that she herself doesn’t know - the terrible amount of damage she has caused?  Does she know that, do you think?

Thank you for bringing this episode of my life to my attention again.  In a strange and inexplicable way, it has given me a reason not to lose faith in my friend.  

Perhaps, as Jesus said of the soldiers who crucified him,

‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’

I too might be able to say,

‘Forgive her TB for she knows not what she does?’

Love you.

An email from Brisbane to a nephew in Pattaya and shit from Ottawa

Hey J

You're the first to be told by me that we've
just got our power back on at our units.

I am overcome with sadness thinking about what
Queensland is going through and watching
Anna Bligh, our premier, break down as she
held yet another press conference tipped me
over too. I cannot wait to go out and help.

I didn't have to evacuate. I don't think there
was ever any danger of the water reaching
us but just a few meters down from where
the park is, water had collected in a sizable
mass flooding houses on either side.

I was told by one of the travel agents in whose office I
was recharging my mobile and laptop this morning
that her friends had not long ago built a new property
there worth over $1 million and they're currently overseas
being informed by friends and family about their
flooded home.

The inconvenience of not having power pales
infinitesimally into insignificance when there
are so many who've been made homeless and who will
have images of their houses going under water
forever imprinted in their minds.

This is all beyond words. To think that it wasn't all
that long ago when Thailand was hit by a tsunami that
also brought it to its knees!

I hope you continue to enjoy your time there and that
it helps clear your mind and refresh your spirits.

Love you.

That's my brief response to my nephew who's currently in Thailand volunteering his services with underprivileged children and mothers, many of whom are involved in the sex trade.

I haven't told you the half of it. This phenomenon that goes by many names - Flood crisis, Queensland's Disaster, Brisbane's floods... I don''t think I can I don't think anyone can.

To see houses pummeled to the ground by the unstoppable force of water, become completely unrecognizable, looking like concrete corpses with their wooden limbs strewn disrespectfully across the ground. It's beyond words.

To hear of the death of a man sucked into a storm water drain as he tries to get back into his home. It's beyond words.

The army helicopters hover ceaselessly over us, their engines roaring, the propellers whirring, assuring us that the worst is far from over. What will they find? Who will they rescue?
Army personnel are knocking on doors to check that people are okay.

Police are patrolling streets to deter looters. Yes, such is our nature, that even in a catastrophe, some feel a need to seize the opportunity to take what is not theirs. But then, is anything really ours?

Cars have been pushed and shoved on the raging waters, like toys in a bathtub as one witness described it,

Furniture and other belongings rudely dumped in heaps here and there with mud literally on their faces. But there will be a cleanup. There must.

Animals stranded helplessly, beyond the reach of those who love and care for them and whom they have loved and cared for in their own charming way. What will become of them?

It's all beyond words. I find myself crying. Especially when I see the faces of people, no, not torn by anguish but stoic with a clear mission - we shall not be moved. Not in spirit, at any rate. We have a job to do and we're getting on with it.

That's what their expressions tell me.

And why wouldn't it, when in the midst of all this, someone has found the wit to fit out a large statue of Australian sporting legend, Wally Lewis, standing prominently in the Suncorp Stadium, with a snorkel, goggles and life bands around his arms. You'll never be able to accuse Australians of not having a sense of humor. No matter what.

I don't think we could have asked for more from all levels of government and from all our social and civil services. Our premier, Anna Bligh, has been a glowing calm in a very dark storm.

A student from Ottawa , beetroot red from the heat and drink, came over to me as I kept vigil over the mass of water down my street. Like a snake flicking its tongue in and out, the water kept rising and descending along the side of the curb inching closer and closer toward us.

The student told me that his housemates had all gone to friends', having moved their furniture to the top floor of the house they were renting as their backyard got submerged. He, however, had nowhere to go, having arrived here only two months ago.

He was exhausted from moving not only the furniture in their shared house but also that of their neighbor's. It was minus 22 degrees in Ottawa when he'd left and here it had rained the last couple of months. And today, he winced, it was both frying and flooding.

''Everywhere I go, I bring shit' he told me ruefully in his French accented English.

I tried ti reassure him that he was not personally responsible for any of the events and that he would always be welcome at our units should he want company or help. I think he was consoled by that as he cheered up a bit. Soon he was talking to some of the other people who had also arrived to watch the water and find some solidarity.

I had this thought, perhaps not entirely unrelated to what he had to say,

Where is home, when all is said and done, if not in our hearts?

To my brave, invincible, fun-loving Australian brothers and sisters, I say, YOU'RE AMAZING!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

We've never experienced anything like it...and it's far from over

We love a good drama and Queensland has had plenty of it in the last few days.

I hope you will forgive my irony but it is hard not to be stung by it in what has been a horror show.  I know some of you have been treated to images and reports of what's been happening here in Brisbane and in our neighboring cities of Ipswich and Towoomba as well as Grafton and other townships just across the border in New South Wales.

I have been relatively unscathed living near the top of a rise in a block of units very close to the Brisbane CBD.  However, literally meters down from where I am, the water has reached the street and risen and was still rising until late last evening taking occupancy of houses on either side of the street and forcing residents out.  One couple with a 6-month old baby were thankful they'd chosen to evacuate the night before because, on returning to view the scene, they found their house half-submerged.

In the midst of this, I saw a couple of mindless lads wading shoulder high in the very muddy and sewerage infested water (never mind the snakes and sharp objects that might have been in it).  Late yesterday afternoon, the police came and taped off the area with stuff that would normally be used at a crime scene..  A resident and I looked on with a mixture of incredulity and relief.

I walked into the city early yesterday morning.  I needed to see the Brisbane river which flows right along the CBD.  It was swollen, muddy and raging fast and furious hurling boats, inflatable rafts, rainwater tanks and other odd, unrecognizable objects of various shapes and sizes as it went charging through.

I was stunned, unable to keep track of my thoughts although there was one that was persistently there - what's the aftermath going to be like?  I had actually gone down to the city to see if there was anywhere I could go and offer help.  The government websites only had links for dollar donations, not people-power.

I met a music mate and his son, both looking somewhat shell-shocked.  He did manage to say that he would offer his help during the cleanup, which we've been warned is going to be horrendous.  Yes, we've been warned about the stench and the debris that will be left in the wake of these shock floods.  I've decided that I too will do the same.

I have hardly been affected.  Yes, I've had no power since 1pm yesterday which has meant that I've not been able to use my laptop/internet - its battery runs out pretty rapidly as does the battery on my mobile phone.  By far, this has been the only inconvenience.

But even in this, I've been spared as there is a park just by my street which has a barbecue.  My neighbors, who perhaps have been more prudent than I have, had plenty of food to cook on it and have been more than willing to share. 

Last night, I went to the bottle shop just up the road from where I am to see if they'd let me recharge my phone battery.  Of course they did.  Right now, I'm sitting in a travel agent's just across from the store that I work in typing this. They were kind enough to let me recharge laptop and phone batteries, offering me a nice seat and coffee and water.  I declined the coffee, having had 2 social cups with my neighbors - a need on my part to partake of social events in a time such as this.

(The store where I work was closed as I was to discover.  I had tried to phone before leaving home but my mobile service provider had put out a message saying there was no coverage in the area expect for emergency calls) 

I couldn't help feeling that we were vicariously acting out of the far greater despair and anxiety that others, greatly more affected than we were, have been and are feeling and likely to continue feeling for some time.

As I was keeping my morning vigil at the mass of water down the street, a car drove up and the driver called out 'Got a snorkel?'  I turned around, forced to tear away from my mixture of dismay and relief (yes, the water was finally receding) and couldn't help but burst out laughing.  By the look on their faces, I could see that both he and his passenger were not quite sure how I'd take this slice of early morning irony.  I think we were all glad I took it well.

Returning to my unit, I was greeted by neighbors offering coffee in the park - ah yes, it was nice to have a hot drink.  I hadn't had one since 9am the day before.  Not that I particularly wanted a hot drink on a day that was promising scorching heat - the kind we had yesterday. And yes, this too seemed ironic, that while the city was being flooded, the sun was powering down its burning best.  But actually, I did want that hot cuppa.  For some reason, it provided the means for some consolation, knowing that I could be with people sharing a freakish experience.

Oh, I could go on but I don't wish to abuse the kindness the travel agent girls have extended me.  I've already been here a few hours.  I would have gone to the state library in the city but it's shut as it was yesterday.

I'll leave you some pictures that I took and some videos that I shot. Perhaps in another post, I'll tell you more.  In the meantime, I know you're thinking kindly of all of us here.  Entire suburbs and towns have been ravaged and the people whose homes and businesses have been destroyed will especially feel your kindness across this revolving globe we call our home....

Just down my street

You wouldn't think they were watching the Brisbane River swell
and surge, breaking its banks, ripping off parts of the city

 No, you wouldn't but they were and it was

 Shards of construction struck off
their perch

Shelves in my local supermarket where bread used to be 
but a few minutes before

 Price labels but where have the igoods gone???

 Neighboring houses, backyards submerged and rapidly becoming a
breeding ground for all kinds of fauna

 The river last night, surging unabated under the William Jolly Bridge

 The mass of water down my street, finally receding this morning

 No, that's not shimmering blue water, but a reflection off my camera.
The water is muddy and holding sewerage .  It was where a couple
of lads were wading yesterday

 It did not discriminate, taking no prisoners

Love, TB

Saturday, January 8, 2011

'What a f***ing idiot!' and other rogue thoughts in this otherwise peace-loving, joyous mindscape of mine...

Okay, what I'm about to write feels more like a confession than an observation of my self.  What's the difference?

Bear with me while I think this through.

I think a confession is more like admitting that I'm wrong or less than scintillatingly wonderful.  Self-observation, on the other hand, is merely looking at myself without judging whether I'm right or wrong, good or bad etc.

Also, for me, self-observation serves many useful purposes, one of which is prompting me to ask myself:  Now was that useful?  And if not, what can I do instead?

BTW, I measure 'usefulness' in terms of whether and to what degree something allows my natural spirit of joy, peace and freedom to express itself.

Now that I've laid the ground for this post (oh, for cryin' out loud TB, get on with it, wiilya!), let me tell you exactly what bombshell I'm about to drop on the calm ground that I've just laid.

Mmm,...oh dear...this is rather embarrassing...but, oh heck, let me just say it straight out:

Lately, I've noticed I have commentary going on in my head that is less than kind or gracious.

For instance, the other day, when I heard the sudden sickening sound of a car burning rubber while I was working on my laptop, the thought, "What a f*#$ing idiot' sprang into my mind instantly.

There it was - silent, looming large and peering at me gleefully - as if it had always been there but, he he, this dim-eyed dreamer i.e. moi had only just noticed it.

I'm not sure which is more disconcerting - the thought itself or the feeling that it had always been there, somewhere in this mind of mine, one which I have been consciously trying to keep peaceful and loving and non-judgmental.  You know?

Now, you might be thinking:

Oh, for chrissakes TB, haven't you outgrown your christening gown?  So you've been cussin' and swearin' in your head.  BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG B*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY DEAL!!!!!!!!  Worse things have been known to happen, you know.

Actually, you've been guilty of worse things, surely???  Like plotting revenge (or actually taking it) or putting on the sulk and scowl or not paying your rent on time or making pathetic excuses for not wanting to be in someone's company or... we could go you want us to???

OK, you're right.  It's not the worse thing that I've done.  Not by far.  But, the thing is, WHY???

Why am I having these expletive-loaded thoughts (when I don't even use them in speech) and how the f*** do they manifest so instantly???  I mean, these days, I notice they're provoked by much less disturbing (ordinary and innocuous) incidents.  Like when I see women with extra weight on them.  This is really awful and I truly do not wish to offend anyone here so


Thoughts like' You're too f**ing fat', 'You gotta lose some of that, you fat slob' scroll through my mind. 


Seriously, if you've ignored the warning and read this far then I would urge you to CONTINUE READING because I am trying to understand this phenomenon (not encourage, promote, excuse or trivialize it), trusting, that as always, you'll be able to shed some light.

That this kind of thinking happens in my head is something I feel deserves some interrogation. If you ever met me or spoke to me, I'm pretty confident you'll find that I'm kind, loving, humorous, full of smiles and really into people.

I meditate everyday during which time I consciously open my heart and mind to the beauty and greatness and goodness of people and the things around me.

But alongside this typically peaceful, optimistic, people-loving person that I've learned to become there is this dark, almost comic aspect that rears its distasteful head (albeit in my head) every now and again.

And it doesn't just happen with strangers either.  It even happens when I think about my kids or when I'm with my friends like J and L and the other J.

'Who the f*** does he think he is???  He hasn't even kept up with the Science like I have but he f***ing thinks he knows f***ing everything'.

I hope you don't get the impression that this happens all the time.  It doesn't.  And it's because it's so infrequent that I actually do notice it :)

Neither do the thoughts last.  They are fleeting.  Rogues that appear and disappear so rapidly, you'd hardly have blinked in the time.

I also want to say that although these thoughts spring into my mind, the feelings I experience at the time do not match them at all.  Rather, they are mostly of warmth, affection and connectedness.

I mean, if those strangers or friends were to start speaking to me at the time of these desecrating thoughts, I'd almost certainly respond kindly, lovingly and joyously.  And I would be completely sincere.  No two ways about that, I can assure you.

So, there you have it.  My 'confession'.  And although I'm thinking of it as a confession, I really am not too disturbed about it and that's because I know that I really don't believe those things that these freak thoughts reflect.

No, that's not entirely true.  I am certain I do believe them to some degree though I may not always agree with them. And that's an important thing to note.

AND  I know that they do not determine or reflect MY INTENTIONS around the person which are ALWAYS AND UNCOMPROMISINGLY KIND AND LOVING AND WELL-MEANING :).  Of that you can be certain.

Anyway, I've said it now and I can't wait to read what you have to say.  Let me know?  Please pretty please????

PS  It's entirely possible these thoughts are directed at myself (even though they contradict the evidence/facts)... ;)

Monday, January 3, 2011

No, this is not 'fess up' time, but have you noticed similar things about yourself too?

There are at least ten topics that I could be writing about right now and just so I don't forget what they are, I'm going to list them here.  Expect them to turn up as posts sooner or later.  With proper titles.

  1. I hear you...
  2. I can tell you like beautiful things...
  3. What a f*#@*ing idiot...
  4. I'm jealous...
  5. The bigger the dream, the scarier...
  6. I'm a serial blogger...
  7. We had a crush on each other but didn't know it
  8. So much talent and so little time...or is that intent...?
  9. How to pre-program a wet dream and why you'd want to (she can't be serious???)...
  10. Ten observations
This post is about #10.  (Note how clever I was to make it the last on my list because it was the one I was least likely to forget?)

So, here's the context.  I've observed certain things about myself (You wouldn't have guessed??? Oh, shucks, now you're making me blush...) and I wonder, as I'm prone to do, if you've observed them about yourself too. 

I'll try to be pithy though sadly, pithiness is not one of my fortes as I'm sure you'll have noticed.  But to make your reading of this as painless as I possibly can, I'll list my self-observations and elaborate only when necessary and as briefly as possible ('Elaborate briefly' ???  Spouting oxymorons unwittingly does happen to be one of my fortes)

Right, here goes:

#1 When I say 'I can't' it's nearly always to hide the truth from others (and myself) that 'I really don't want to' or that 'I don't want to enough' (Do you need me to elaborate?)

#2  I'm often so busy reacting against something that I forget to stop and ask myself 'What would I really like instead?'
If I did the latter more often and more quickly (in other words, if I were a little more present to myself and my inner thoughts and feelings), I'd cut down my moment-to-moment discomforts by at least 90%.

For instance, I've realized that, if,  instead of trying to ignore the ache in my back (from sitting too long at my laptop), I remembered to ask myself how I would like to feel, I'd more quickly get up and move and stretch or lie down and do some yoga asanas, not reactively but calmly, lovingly and enjoyably!  I've realized that 'ignoring' is a passive way of resisting a situation.

#3  I feel a need to be precise about what I say in response to someone's remark or observation about me.
This is not so much about correcting them (or is it?) as it is about sharing (more) accurate information, information as I know and experience it.  After all, this is about myself.

#4  Taking the time to calm myself (when I've been mildly disturbed by my dog from whatever I'm doing) and saying sincerely in a gentle voice and with a smile, 'I love you' to my dog has a wonderfully soothing effect on me.  I've noticed it seems to immediately pacify her too.  I suspect this would work nicely on humans too.

#5  I've started justifying killing flies (one fly in my unit is one fly too many) by telling them before I commit the deed that I'm fulfilling their desire to quit this joint and hasten their rebirth into whatever form of life they desire,  Yes, it's important to me that I do everything with a good intent. 

Height of self-delusion, you think?

#6  Giving myself mini breaks from whatever I'm doing (especially when I'm working on my laptop) by just lying still, or making small, gentle movements, or breathing slowly and deeply or taking my dog out to do her toilet or cooking is a great way of de-cluttering my mind and allowing fresh thoughts to waft in.

#7  Asking myself often, 'What do I really want right now?' is like unclogging a blocked, stressed drain (like a blocked, stressed, uncreative mind).  It allows the free, unlimited flow of fresh ideas, true desires and wild imagination.

#8  Acknowledging things about myself that I find painfully embarrassing or frightening just creates an opportunity for me to move on, to actually know that it was a thing of the past and here I am, free to be and do whatever I choose.  I really do not have to avoid my history which is probably the surest way of repeating it!

#9  I'm less interested in details, especially sordid ones, about other people's lives but far more interested in their thoughts and feelings.  I realize that this matches my disinterest in the details of my own experiences and my heightened interest in my thoughts and feelings around them.

#10  I'm less troubled by guilt these days and more troubled by my lack of big dreams (and still puzzled about how best to tackle my frequent, though short-lived, pangs of jealousy but more of that in another post)

Yep, I've discovered that guilt has done me no great service over the years and that my lack of big dreams has kept me from living much more freely and joyfully than I have done.  Not any more though!

So, there you have it.  Ten observations about myself.  Not a 'Top Ten' by any means.  That was not the intention.  Rather it was about sharing what I've become aware of in recent times.

How about you?  Care to share some of your self-observations?


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