Sunday, November 7, 2010

When does a friend become a 'true' friend and why?

I wonder if you've felt this way too. 

What way?

Well, you have friends and acquaintances, right?  The friends are people you probably like and trust.  The acquaintances are people that you may know 'from a distance', not well enough to like or trust.  You don't necessarily dislike them but you probably don't trust them. 

Right, so what 'way' am I talking about that appears to have something to do with friends and acquaintances? 

Well, when does an acquaintance become a 'friend'?  Or if you prefer, how does an acquaintance become a friend?  And while we're at it, when and how does a friend become an even better friend?  A really good friend?  A best friend?  A right mate?  A bosom buddy?  A true friend?

It seems to me that it happens when you share a really low point in your life with them, either retrospectively i.e. when you relate some deep or dark or intimate personal experience to them or when you are in the throes of such deep or dark or intimate experience during either of which they are a caring presence.

Now, here's what I'm really interested to know:  Why is it that we seem to need to share something very personal and usually something that has caused us considerable pain or embarrassment with someone before we feel really 'close' to them?  Before we'd feel prepared or able to consider them a 'real' friend?

Have you ever wondered about that?

Please tell me if the person or persons you consider your best friend or friends do not fall in this category. 

So, why?  Why do they have to pass this 'test' or meet this 'criteria' that we seem to set them, unconsciously, albeit?

Why does a person whom we share only really good times and good news with never quite make it to this 'best', 'dearest' friend status?

I am really curious to know.  Do you have any thoughts on this? 

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