Wednesday, December 29, 2010

So you think that being vulnerable is sexy?

I don't know the precise sociology or chronology of events but somewhere along the line, Hollywood and psychologists decided that we needed to be vulnerable.  More accurately, they decided we needed to acknowledge and express our vulnerability. 

It became such a sexy thing to do, especially for men.  It truly melted the female heart (really, it was more like puffing up her ego) when her otherwise insensitive, broad-shouldered, square-jawed, crotch-squeezing-tight-panted (wait a minute - that's back in fashion!) male partner or colleague could admit to feeling afraid or insecure.

That was in the period predating women taking over the workforce and literally wearing the pants.  Following that, the new challenge was to get superwoman to express her fragility and insecurities, attributes that appealed to the male ego when it was fashionable and helped to bolster the latter's confidence and sense of purpose.

Yep, it's now become such a turn-on (for men), when a  ball-busting,  kick-ass, call-a-spade-a-spade, stare-you-down, unflinching (I mean, how often do you see a female professional on any of those TV serials have a doubled-over belly laugh as opposed to a 'I'm too cool for you' labored muscle stretch that we've come to recognize as a smile?) female would eventually drop her guard, let the tears flow and allow her male side-kick access to her marshmallow, right-brained interior. 

(Forgive me, that was an excruciatingly long sentence which I attribute to my poor writing skills - see, I'm being vulnerable or is it just modest? ;)

Okay, I might be guilty of some exaggeration but only fractionally, mind.  And I readily admit that tears and melodrama are not the only expressions of vulnerability, if they are even that.  But seriously, why has being vulnerable become fashionable? 

I happen to believe (and increasingly experience) that we are, by nature, male and female, powerful.  That is, we are filled with power, naturally.

Life is power.  Love is power.  And for me, love is just another name for life and love and life are just the raw energy of everything that exists. 

Right, I realize I'm starting to sound *metaphysical* but that is truly how I see the world.  The pure energy of everything that exists, that has ever existed, is filled with power.  It is powerful.  And we are, by nature, powerful.

So does that mean there is no room or cause for vulnerability?  Oh yes, there is plenty of room and cause.  Way too much, if you ask me. 

Why do I say that?  Because it is all to do with ego.  Yep, EGO.

Oh right, beat up the ol' ego now, why don't you!

No, no, no.  I have no intention of pulverizing the ego.  But I do want to share what I understand of this thing we call ego.  It is a state of mind that is ignorant of WHO AND WHAT WE TRULY ARE - POWERFUL, FREE, LIMITLESS AND INGENIOUS!

That is who and what we truly are!  That is what we experience in the stillness of our observing (non-judging) mind! 

The ego judges and separates and attempts to control because it does not see that none of this is necessary! 

The ego is unaware of our natural, limitless power, freedom, gleefulness and ingenuity!  And from its limited, self-grasping, pin-hole vantage point, it needs to protect and preserve itself from everything else that it sees as 'Not I/Me'.

Phew!  I just had to get that off my chest :). 

Vulnerability is not a virtue though I grant that it is highly fashionable.

Power, true power (which is not ego-driven), is a virtue.  Heck, let's dispense with these egotistical labels like *virtue* and *vulnerable* and *victim* and *victorious* (Sesame Street is brought to you today by the letter 'V' ....)

Before I get off this soapbox, I just want to say one other thing.  I'm not an advocate for intending vulnerability.  In other words, I don't hold thoughts or intentions of wanting to be vulnerable. 

However, it doesn't mean that I don't have behaviors or use words that could be interpreted as being vulnerable.  I mean, I'm not entirely free of the ignorance and torpor of my ego :)

Neither do I judge (or at least wish to judge) others for expressions of vulnerability. I do a fair lot of it myself - you only have to read my posts for evidence :)

But f anything that I've said here makes any sense to you, then it is my wish and intention to encourage you (and me) to express (more of) who and what we truly are - POWERFUL, FREE, LIMITLESS, JOYOUS AND OH, SO VERY SEXY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING - and less of what we truly aren't :).

Agree???  Come on, let me know what you think :)

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