Ahem...excuse me, but why, really?

Honesty is both scary and exciting.  Titillating even, wouldn't you say?

Like this admission I'm about to make, which, incidentally, I had no intention of making when I began writing this post.  Matter of fact, I had a question in mind for you (surprise, surprise) when I first put paws to keyboard.

I'll tell you what that question is in a minute.  But first, I want to share with you the series of thoughts that has brought be to this point of embarrassing (yes, I'll reveal why in a moment although I;m certain you'll have it figured out before I do) admission.

You see, as soon as the question popped into my mind, I attempted to answer it myself at which point, two rather disparate and contending thoughts stepped into my mental thought cafe.  Before they could order their cappuccino and latte, I was compelled to find out who they were.

Well, the first quickly revealed itself as 'I don't know' and the second, glancing somewhat disdainfully at the first said. 'Well, surely what is true for you is probably true for your readers, or at least some of them.  So, you might answer the question by asking it of yourself'.

Right.  Got told.  And here's where it started to get embarrassing.

Huh???  Are you following any of this?  Alright, alright, let me put you out of your misery.

Well, you see, on this the third or is it the fourth or fifth day of perpetual rain (and I'm not complaining, just describing as I do love the rain and the drop in temperature that it brings about), having finally chosen my new blog theme and colors (at least for now), my mind was free once again to think about what I wanted to say in this post.

In actual fact, there have been so many things that I've wanted to write about, some of which could easily take me in a different direction of interest and application.  That said, one of the reasons why my blog has its name and description is that it gives me the freedom to write about virtually anything that I wish to write about.

Such, after all, is the ordinary content of my mind - untidily strewn with thought bubbles of every shape, color and description.  Well, perhaps not 'every' as that would suggest I have the omniscient mind of god, when, in fact, I have an infinitesimally sized mind, albeit an ever expanding one :)

However, before I distract myself and you any further, let me return to the original intent of this post and the embarrassing revelation it triggered.  The question I had wanted to pose to you was this:

Why do you read this blog?

I know, I know.  It does seem like I am fishing for eh...well..ahem...compliments but believe it or not, that was not (and still is not) my intention.  However, it might interest you to know why I am interested to know.  It's quite simple really.

Here I am wondering, as I often do, which, of the many ragged thoughts that course through my mind, I should pick up and stitch some kind of story or plot or post, if you like, with.  And then it occurs to me that it doesn't seem to matter what my post is about, some of my readers will take the time to read it and some of you, bless your cotton socks, will go even further and leave me a comment or two!

Well, as I said earlier, following the indifferent (or was it bewildered?) 'I don't know' thought, came the reproachful (or was it inspiring?) thought, "Ask yourself'.

So, here's the embarrassing confession.  It is in response to the self-directed question:  Why do I read your blogs? 

Because:

1. I'm curious about what's happening with you, what you're thinking and feeling and what I might gain from reading what you have to say (and I always gain something, whether pleasure, inspiration, resolution of an old hurt or the joy of admiration)
2.  I know I'm likely to leave a comment and (here is where it gets really, really embarrassing) it might prompt you to come read my blog and hopefully, leave a comment too

There.  It's out in the open - my shameful, self-indulgent motive for reading your blogs!  Didn't I say that honesty is both scary and exciting?

It is.  There's a chance you might snort in disgust at my admission, which in truth, probably confirms what you'd already suspected.  And you may choose to heretofore refrain from commenting on my posts even if you should choose to read them.  That's the scary part.

But, here's the exciting bit.  You may forgive me for my egotistical indulgence and ...wait for this...you may even admit to a similar indulgence!!!!!!!  Farrrrrrrrrrr out!!!!!

But really, so what if we did read and comment with selfish motives?  I mean, SO WHAT????

Is that such a bad thing?  I mean, you might just as easily ask:  Why do I bother talking?

Isn't it for feedback?  Of course we have other reasons such as wanting to make a point or share some fantastic or tragic news or enquire about something or someone.  But ultimately, it's for ourselves, always and every time, even those times when we want to let others know that we care about them.  It's because when we do, we feel good or better!

Right, I'll get off the soap box now.  Oh gosh, did you notice how I felt a need to defend myself there???

Anyways, embarrassing, selfish, self-indulgent, virtuous or outright manipulative, I reckon we're all motivated by feedback in one form or another and so I'll boldly and with utmost sincere selfishness ask my question:

Why do you read my blog?  I mean, really?

Oh, and while you're at it, feel free to answer any other questions that may be lurking in this post or any that pop into your mind or leave a comment about anything at all.  You know how much I love reading your comments :)