Sigh - Yeah, it's like that. I'm beginning this with the weight of guilt and disappointment for not being more consistent with this blog. I'm also encumbered by the uncertainty of when my next post will be. Mmm...it makes me wonder...why am I posting now?
Truth? Because for a very brief, nanosecond-like moment, I felt like I wanted to and so here I am. Which is one way of saying that in all the time since my last post, I've not had that kind of a moment. Mmm...it makes me wonder...why I haven't...
'Honestly? I think it's because I've had other things on my mind. Like a romantic interest (although NOTHING was said or done by me or the object of my desire - was he completely unaware of how I felt? Or was he just as scared as I was to say or do anything about it? Or were the feelings simply not mutual?).
And besides that, I've been blissfully engaged with my music, songwriting and recording and songwriting some more. And I've been writing for money - quite a bit more money than I was getting. So that's all been good.
But this songwriting journey, yeah, it's taken a bit of a new direction, which is a little scary. The last lot of songs I wrote and recorded were risk-free - transcendent stuff revolving around the eternal truths of life and love.
But the songs I'm writing now are different in subject and sound - speaking of vulnerability and uncertainty and longings that may never be realized and that may even be considered unconventional or at least unpopular...but at least they're all true. There's integrity,
Not that the previous lot lacked integrity - no, not at all. Just that they didn't feel as close to the bone as these ones. Doesn't make the latter more authentic, I don't think, but might make them more accessible, more the sort of thing that more people can relate to.
Funny, I didn't think I'd be writing about my songwriting. For that matter, I really had no idea what I'd be writing about. So, forgive me if this isn't quite your cup of tea, assuming you're reading this. /Well, there's nothing to assume there - if you're reading this, you are. Sheeze...my brain's gone mushy, I think. Mushy peas?
Perhaps this might be a good place to stop? Yep, I think so. Do stop and say 'hi' if you're reading this - it will put a big smile on me face :)